Episode Three - The Phantom Menace

Sorry about the lack of entries (that's what I said to myself last night), it's just done to chronic laziness.

I did something reprehensible last night...this is funny actually but not something that any other human being will understand. I was full of bottles...and texting about 6 girls at the same time...just to relieve the boredom while my mates are outside smoking. Anyway, there's this one girl...who's okay looking, but I wouldn't want to date her or anything. One pleasing shag, just out of curiosity would suit me down to the ground.

Anyway...i sent her a text saying the following -

"I'm really falling for her man"

So...i pretended that i was sending her a text my mistake...a text I was supposed to send to my mate bill....and she was supposed to go all gooey thinking I was falling for her...

Instead she thought I was a freak...and got all scared...I mean the cheek of her!!! She should have been delighted. I then had to talk myself out of her...To cut a long story short she dumped me before we had a chance to even go out. The amount of times I've been dumped by women i don't even fancy is starting to get funny.

Another thing I've discovered this week. I'm kinda turned on by women peeing.

Not watcing someone having a pee on the toilet (that would be freaky.) (actually, it's probably not as freaky as what I'm about to say).. The idea of getting peed on doesn't repulse me...the sight of girls peeing on each other causes a state of semi arousement (until i keep watching it, then it's total arousment) I think it may have something to do with women who squirt...have you seen that? That's fantastic.

I was in a niteclub last week and I was surrounded by 18 year olds. 18 year olds in Ireland are not like the 18 year olds that you see on the internet (probably because they're all 28)...they don't have any tits and look like your 12 year old cousin. I actually surprised myself...I thought that I'd be as randy as a priest on a beach but I wasn't...they actually didn't do anything for me. Which was nice.

So...I'm making some resolutions for the months ahead. I want to get me a girlfriend for Christmas..cause like birthdays...it's depressing not having someone to give you loads of presents...i'm also going to see if she'll pee on me. (How do you bring that up?)

anyway...until tomorrow..(you've heard that before..)