Masturbation

Told ya I'd be back!!

I don't imagine anyone is reading this...but if you are...and you're offended....then you shouldn't be still here reading about me talking about you being offended.

Masturbation.

I remember when I was in school they used to say this thing..

"I have a joke for ya monty..."

"haa..ok let me hear it..."

"there was this lad who was having a bath one day...he started to wank in the bath..."

"ok.."

"and you know the way the cum floats in the water"

"Yeah"

"Ah...you're a wanker!! Monty's a wanker!!"

You see nowadays I'd say.....yeah...and? but back then....

"What? No I'm not..I was just saying yeah so you'd carry on the joke..."

Masturbation is the strangest thing in the world...I can remember having some masturbation sessions that lasted longer than my longest sex sessions... I remember one time I was chatting online with this girl...she was getting fairly dirty, and then told me she had a webcam...man...I was yanking away for so long that when I finally came I got it in my eye. (tip for anyone looking to conceive...the longer you're at it...the further and faster it shoots)

The Story of my first Masturbation

I've often thought about this...how old was I when I first went at myself...then it came to me (sorry)...

One Christmas Eve...I was so excited about santa comi....visiting our house, that I couldn't sleep. So i wanked 3 times to knock myself out. Now...if I believed in Santa...how young must I have been? Still though, it really is a great sedative...something I think they should consider using in hospitals...and if there's any parents out there who can't get their kids to sleep on christmas eve....

What is it with women and masturbation. Without a shadow of a doubt, they're all at it but they can't admit it. And nothing get's me going more than women at themselves....girls...if you're reading this,..please leave a comment about how much you masturbate. Appreciate it.

Monty