Another episode.

Wow. It's been a while. That was a song wasn't it? It's been a while!!! Recorded by an artist called stained if I'm not mistaken...

Which brings me onto the first thing I want to talk about...

I recently spent two weeks living with a girl. It was, I will admit, an attempt at a relationship. To be honest, there's not a lot about those two weeks that was in any way admirable, in fact the majority of this blog will be about the girl that I then began to see but one thing did strike me about those two weeks. This girl was naive. She asked me, not once, not twice, but three times why I blew my nose into (a) my boxers which she was about to clean, (b) the tea towel and (c) the sofa.

She was incredibly stupid.

But the next girl....oh my....

Ok so it was a normal friday morning...I'm up to my tits in debt and feel that I need to apply for a loan. I go into the bank and met with this pretty girl called Lorna. She's very straight laced and only smiled when my phone rang and when i went to answer it i dropped it and while trying to catch it i ended up juggling it until it ended up about 20 feet from me. That was more of a "what a fucking idiot" smile. Anyway, this girl, right in front of me...without saying I'll have to wait 24 hours....turned me down. She, personally, turned me down for a loan. Can she do that?I mean shouldn't she at least say, I've put in your details and it will be 24 hours before we have an answer. No. Sorry. Have a nice day.

But here's the twist. Later that night, I see this girl out and she's drunk...very drunk...hopefully at her leaving do so I can apply again tomorrow. I walk passed her on the way to the toilet...she stops me...she knows me she says..."how do I know you?" She then gives some options..."Do you play tennis?" No. "I met you in Crete last year didn't I?" No. She didn't give me another option so I said...."bank......" "Oh you worked with me...hahaha...I'm so sorry..."

Anyway, long story short...I brought her home. I think I did so because I wanted to see what she was like when I wasn't asking for a loan. Christ...I got my answer. She stripped me naked...sat on top of me....punched me in the jaw...asked me (don't ask me how she knew) if I wanted to be pissed on...I said no..cause you know...it's more of a passing interest than a fetish. Luckily enough I rang the taxi in advance on the way home but while I was lying there....looking up at her strange nipples with a hair sticking out of one...I couldn't help but remember her behind that window telling me that I couldn't have that loan.